Fire & Ice

Alright, so we have a little problem on our hands. I've left it maybe a week and a half since my last blog and as you maybe have noticed, the ski bum life tends to generate stories on a two day basis. So I've got a bit of build up here. It's alright though, as long as people are willing to read then I'm still willing to write; although my next blog will more than likely contain a section about suffering from arthritis of the hands at such an early age due to an overly active cyber life.

So to start (sort of), the day is Thursday, March 18th and I've just come off the end of my 10 hour shift in the virtual paradise we call the housekeeping department. Like I said, we've got a lot to discuss about happenings in the last week and a half. But the first question needs to be answered...how did he afford all these happenings earning $10 an hour? selling himself? ...sadly close.

Last Tuesday night I'm home in my pyjama's at 10pm (trying to save money of course...I'm not lame) and I get a call from one of my close friends Alex at the resort's ritzy restaurant, "Wildfire", telling me there was 4 rich guests having dinner, tipping lots and asking if he could get anyone to come down to the restaurant and play guitar and sing live for a few hours, paying $200 up front, with an extra $100 if they're good. So of course I ripped out of my PJ's and into game gear and sprinted up with my guitar to the Wildfire; and...well you all know I'm good so of course I got the whole $300 (haha...but seriously). So anyways these four cowboys from Calgary ended up being funny older boys, shouting drinks for all my friends that came up to the bar when they heard I was playing, bringing their total bar tab to $1200; more money than sense if you ask me but hey, I had a great time and it provided funding for what was to come. The biggest hit of the night was when I played "Cool Guy's Don't Look At Explosions".

So two days later we road tripped to Calgary for our first experience at an NHL Ice Hockey game (Canadian's would kill me if they saw I called it "Ice" Hockey...apparently there is no other sort of hockey). The road trip was like any other road trip as you can see in the video I've posted, displaying to you all what boredom in a car can do to a man. But after three hours in a car we arrived in Calgary and after a lengthy search, we found the spot where we met the guy scalping the tickets to us in the parking lot of a famous burger joint called "Peter's Drive In". I think it's safe to say that I should never aspire to being a succesful drug dealer; pulling out my money and counting it on the car bonnet before handing it over so obviously and fumbling all the way.

We took a tour around the city of Calgary which I hadn't visited yet. I was surprised that it actually looked like a city; I'd been there before to fly out to Vancouver and I only saw the hick residential area and immediately thought the place didn't have much to offer. This second visit opened my eyes (only a little) seeing it was actually a big city that had quite a fun night life. We got to the stadium and switched on our video camera filming the crowds coming into the game two hours early. Although it's too big and long to put into the blog I'd like to mention a funny section including a black scalper, selling his own rap demo's, that suddenly got blacker as soon as he realised he was on camera. E.g "Oh hey guys you want tickets for the ga...yo baby chain reaction you know me yo, get my new record, cutting sick rhymes and dope beats yo know me, bam". We went to a casino for dinner and got some of the wickedest cheap food; it was weird being in a North American Casino as it just looked like a cheap bowling club yet all the Canadian's thought all this gambling biz was real special and crazy.

Now we get to the narly part. The game itself was amazing, like no other sporting event I've ever seen. It was like a rock show but for athletes. After sitting in the sold out Pendlegrowth Saddledome, the home stadium of the Calgary Flames, it comes over the speakers that the lights will go off in 5 minutes. I'm thinking, "It's a game of hockey, how are they going to play with the lights off?". Then they go off and some hardcore pump up rock music starts playing with these strobe flames logos flood the ice as the referees get their own welcome like the start of a fricken 80's glam rock band concert. I was stunned from the get go and can now understand why every game sells out and why tickets cost like $50+ for any seat. We sat next to these funny Canadian guys who joined when we all had a bit to drink and started imitating family guy during the game. What sort of family guy you say? Well when the beer vender walked through the isles shouting if anyone wanted beer I yelled "Buttscratcher"...and then the guy next to me yells "Buttscratcher" and then the beer vender turns to look at us and laughs and heartily yells to the crowd "Buttscratcher, Get your Buttscratcher" ..followed by one guy up the back with a faded "Buttscratcher!". Well after a few beers we started to get well into the game cheering when the flames scored and eventually won the game 2-0 against the Ottawa Senators (even though we are all Vancouver Canucks supporters).

Following the game, the question was posed whether to go home now (for work the next morning at 8am) or to stay in Calgary for a little bit and at least go out for one or two drinks at a club. I think the picture to your left will give you a hint as to our decision. After grabbing some quick food we went out to a club called "The Roadhouse" and had a beer and a dance. Great times were had but there were way too many "party hot" girls there. You know the type that look great all done up out on the town and in the darkness of the club but you wouldn't want to wake up next to. Lucky ol' Jesse is a little smarter than to fall victim to these creatures of the night and had no intention of straying from his own space on the D-floor. Although it was a bit of a dive bar, it was great to be back in a real city, in a real club with a different crowd then the same staff I see every day at work, home and at the bar...although those guys fricken rule. Let me rephrase that...good to be around them + some different faces.

We decided to leave the club around 1:30am and start the 3 hour drive home. After stopping for free coffee at a 24 hour macca's it was my turn for first shift driving. I drove the first 1:30 hours of the trip fuelled on coffee and the "Muscles" CD before stopping at Banff for Alex to take over. Apparently after I fell asleep in the car the 3 hour trip turned into a 4 and a half hour trip because it puked snow (for the first time in agges!!) all the way from Lake Louise to Radium, getting us home at a timely 6:30am...ready to wake up at 7am to get ready for work...Yeah, I called in sick.

The next few days following it snowed a little bit all over the Kootenay Rockies (the area I live in) so we decided to take advantage of the best snow and go to Kicking Horse mountain in Golden where it got a whopping 55cm of snow in the 7 days prior. I have to say I think it was the best snow I've been in since coming to Canada and I had one of the best rides of my life tracking through untouched powder while the crystals in it sparkled around my feet. Poetic? Maybe; but trust me, it deserves some degree of literary elegance, if you saw and rode it you would know too. I'm also proud to say that I rode double black diamond runs all day long and to be honest, I don't know why I've been staying away all season because they suddenly seem really easy, but that's what most of the lifties said right before they broke arms and legs. So I think I'll stay on my guard. After a tiring day we relaxed with a few beers in the back seat of Martha's truck...It was "cosy" to say the least. Chaud bro...Chaud. We took it easy over the next few days and had a great little fire outside of staff accomodation to end my three days off. It was great to get everyone out and just chill and chat around the fire where we also cooked our dinner. I think it's going to become a regular thing because it was so easy and enjoyable.

I didn't want to do this, but I felt it necessary to end on a sore note. There has, as some have already heard around the world, a little bit of trouble running at Panorama Mountain Village. In the last two weeks there has been three arrests within the Downhill Rider's Groups that bring their party buses into the resort. Two have been alchohol related, but the other one I had a personal encounter with on Saturday night. As Brad, Alex, Alana and I were walking home from the bar after a pretty sweet night we see up through the window in one of the rooms a biggish guy yelling and throwing a lamp and other objects in the room and at the window. Straight away we called security of course and thought "it's not our problem security can deal with it". But then this other girl comes out of the flat below his and yells for us to call security because the guy is forcing himself onto her cousin up in the room above and won't let her go. We we're all pretty sickened by this thought because the guy was an absolute thug. We yelled for the guy to stop and distracted him enough at the top for him to get off the girl until security came and dealt with the situation. But the kicker comes that after he was detained it was discover her had a prior warrant out for his arrest in Alberta and was given over to the police in Inveremere. As lucky as it was for us to see him in the window I hate to think of what would have happened if we hadn't walked past at that moment.

On a happier and much more exciting note of things to come. My room mate Dim and I have decided to blow off Vegas for now (as I am road tripping there in a van as well as the west coast of USA with Brad and Alex in September) and we've decided instead to go to Bamboozle Music Festival in New Jersey, only 30 minutes train ride from New York City. So I think the plan for end of season here at Pano is straight to NYC for some festivities before back to reality (or holiday reality) in Vancouver to start a new job, new apartment and basically live a new life. It's all quite exciting I think you'd agree...

Nope? Just me?..Fair Enough.

America (and) The Brave

This next story I am about to tell, is quite possibly the most courageous and awe inspiring story that was ever etched into the already rich and pure history of the United States of America. It's a story about seven boys; nay, seven men who crossed the Canadian/American border into the lesser known state of Montana to find cheap booze, majestic mountains and challenging nights out only to overcome all obstacles in their path and conquer the powdery mountains of Whitefish; eventually making it back to Panorama Mountain Village.

Now I'd like to leave the intellectual banter I sometimes become accustomed to when in blog mode and give you a play by play of the boys trip to Montana, U.S.A; and in fact, my first experience in the states since coming on this trip. The first memory was a little blurry as we all woke up at 4am on Monday the 1st of March to pack our gear into the cars that we had rented from Invermere for the trip. It was a strange group of boys (and only boys) that came on the trip but it was one of the best crews imaginable. We received fascinated responses from most of the Americans in Montana when they asked where we were from; expecting a simple collective response. Instead they got Nic (Sweden) Graham & Shanyn (New Zealand), Ian (Canada), Matty (French Canadian), Adam and I (Australia of course).

The trip was off to a rusty start from the beginning when the door to the Accura we rented was frozen shut and could not be opened until we backed the other car up to the lock and ran the exhaust on it until it thawed out. First stop at Tim Horton's at 5:30 saw me introduced to the simplest yet most awesome Canadian treat; the "Double Double" coffee, which despite being great at the time, didn't keep me awake and I slept for the first two hours of the trip. To keep himself awake, our driver Nic kept referring to himself as an airline, continuously sprouting lines such as "Thank you for flying Air Niklas" and "We are now approaching the border at a speed of 120Km per hour, local time is 7:30am."

I think it's safe to say American's are extremely on edge about foreigners entering their country. But after a thorough inspection of our car and passports, as well as the $6 entry fee (entry fee to the country? WTF?) we were back on track and made it into Whitefish, Montana within an hour of entering the states. Gearing up in the parking lot of Whitefish Mountain Resort, we all couldn't shake the tired eyes. Nothing a few pre-riding drinks couldn't fix. At the bottom of those Miller High Life's we found another burst of excitement and set out of what turned out to be one of my favourite mountains so far.

The mountain itself was huge. Nice and open; lots of leftover powder that went really soft under the bright sun and tree runs that were nicely spread out, allowing us to drop in wherever we wanted with lots of space to move around. Nobody held back the whole day because of the powder, which also resulted in some of the funniest bails I have seen all season and still no injuries. We stopped in at the on hill restaurant and made the most vicious discovery any individual has ever made in the existence of man. That's right; the man can. 24 ounces of Pabst Blue Ribbon beer packed into a glorious looking can, all for only $3...or lets just say $2.99 for shock marketing purposes. To go with this, we ordered two gigantic platters of nachos for only $5 each which Ian left in the alleyway outside the motel before we checked in. A giant feather in his cap for being the first of four fallen soldiers that puked on this trip, and the only one whose puke wasn't actually alcohol related.

Once settling in the motel later in the evening we ventured into the streets of Whitefish to grab dinner, experiencing a chance encounter with a lady at the Pizza place. She (like everyone else we met that day) was fascinated at our diverse group and upon learning that we were only spending the night, slipped Shanyn her number and offered to show us the town. Emily didn't really end up showing us the town but in the spirit of a boys trip we treated her the same way any other group on a boys trip would treat a lady. Not unlike the wild skunk of North America, defense mechanisms were engaged so frequently while having pre-drinks that when Emily finally finished at 10pm and came to the motel room she couldn't even greet us with a "Hi"...but instead (appropriately) decided on "It smells like dude in here". She did however point us in the direction of somewhere to go.

Before this however, came most of the highlights. The Miller High Life's that we purchased at $17 a case of 24, weren't doing the trick so we decided to go out again in search of vodka; which we found priced at $17 for a 2 litre bottle. I'm sure the current reader isn't the only reader who will be doing a double take at that, but I shit you not. I also have a new found respect for the comedy of Matt, as I have never laughed so hard at the phonetics lesson he gave, telling us how he pronounces Hippopotamus. I dare you to hear this word out loud and not laugh as pronounced by the French Canadian stud - Hip-Op-Uh-Tay-Muss. Use your best French accent for the full effect. Also, I'd like to make a special mention of Adam trying to explain the sport of Car Racing as experienced by Montanian's. "Well you get a frog...and a spoon...right? And then the frog jumps over the spoon" - Adam Hodge; "I don't get it...why is there a frog in the spoon?" - Matty.

Okay, so the time we're talking about is around about 11pm, and the next few hours are a bit of a blur (sorry Mum and Dad but we've all done it and the story has to be told in complete). The bar we went to had free ping pong, pool and ice hockey foozeball-ish style games which kept us busy most of the night. That and the $1 beers they were selling bringing our bar tab total to about $5 + Tip. The picture piece together some of the story but we walked to a bowling alley restaurant that was open 24 hours for some late night food in which I did not partake in. Instead, without shame, I asked the boys if they were finished every minute for about 6 or 7 minutes and when finding out they had only just ordered (to my surprise...even though I was at the table the whole time), left to call a taxi home. When asked where I needed to go, I said "The..." about 7 times until I finally remembered the name of the motel (believe me it was a struggle). Everything worked out fine and although I had a comfortable nights sleep, it did not help me in any way come 9am when we woke up to have breakfast and go back out snowboarding.

Everybody else in our little crew felt the same way it seemed as Matty was number two in the puke parade, casually strolling over to the balcony and letting loose all over the street. After a breakfast burrito and what seemed like the repeated slogan of the day; "I can't believe we're going riding today", we got back on the horse and up to whitefish mountain, sinking a few leftover beers along the way. It wasn't as fun as the first day as the clouds had covered up the sun making what used to be soft snow hard and icy; making a perfect setting for the death race down the hill to catch last chair. The highlight for my day was seeing an elderly gentleman with a silver "balloonist" style moustache mosy out onto the balcony overlooking the mountain range, pose in what can only be described as the "Captain Morgan" and light up a finely made, thick as all hell cigar whilst looking determinately towards the view.

The trip back was, as usual, a lot comfier and quicker than the trip there. We arrived back at Panorama at 10pm on Tuesday the 2nd of March and went straight up to the Monument Lodge Room 330 to toast a successful trip with the leftover Miller High Life's we had in the trunk of the rental cars; dreading the thought of work the next morning, but knowing we'll all get enough sleep when we're dead and buried so there's no point wasting time on trips like these.

Now you know the story of seven of the bravest young men in the history of men and how they overcame the obstacles of sleep deprivation, bodily dysfunction and sometimes dismal weather conditions to experience one of the most enjoyable trips to date. Spread the saga.

Next week...NHL hockey game! Keep reading, Yeah?